Just Photos!

I'm just posting a couple of photos so that I can use one of them as the photo in my profile. This is the way that the Blogger instructions say to do it and I'm not technically sophisticated enough to figure out another way!

This is my granddaughter Elliot (22 months at the time) and me September 9 in a restaurant in Port Angeles, WA. Elliot thought she was tickling my neck, and I was pretending to react in an exaggerated way. Elliot loved it! And so did I.

Whatever--and I mean it

When I wrote my second health update yesterday, I mentioned that I was still "hanging on to that 'whatever.' But it actually took writing it to make it true. In the past 3 days or so, I had gotten caught up in the frustration of feeling that my cardiologist was not taking my symptoms seriously, and I felt cast adrift. I started becoming anxious and focused on my problem.

However, yesterday when I wrote my second update, I remembered my previous experience that I had written about, where I had been utterly trusting God for my health situation. I remembered that I had known that God would be there in whatever the situation was, good or bad. And I realized that at the time I had thought of the situation in a sort of binary way: either the doctors would tell me I was fine, or they would tell me I had some specific problem and would get to work on solving it.

What I hadn't taken into account was a situation where I would still be having troublesome symptoms, but the doctors might seem indifferent. And when this situation came into being, I forgot about trusting God and started getting upset.

But when I wrote the second update yesterday, I remembered my "whatever". And then I remembered that God can handle this situation, too. That doesn't mean, now that I am handing the problem off to him again, that it will instantly be solved. But it does mean that I can fret less and remember who is holding me in his arms.

I saw a series of cartoon drawings yesterday where a bunch of people were carrying crosses, and one of them kept asking God to make it lighter for him to carry, so God kept chopping a bit of the end of this guy's cross off. But eventually they all came to a chasm that they had to cross, and everyone else was able to get across by making their crosses into bridges, but this guy couldn't because his cross was too short now. So maybe there is some way in which an instant solution to my problem would not be helpful to me at this time. Or maybe it will be solved soon. I don't know--but I do know that God is trustworthy.

Update #2

I realized I need to do a second update. This is feeling really narcissistic, however.

I'm not recovering as expected after getting the pacemaker. I'm extremely winded after doing just about anything. For example, I walk up a flight of stairs, and I'm so out of breath that I have to grab whatever is nearest and lean on it while I get my breath back. I've been back to the cardiologist, and they're baffled; the pacemaker is working properly and it should have solved this. They have done tests and there is nothing they can see wrong with me.

So if anyone is so inclined, I would appreciate prayer that this would get figured out. It's causing too much anxiety to my husband and parents, for one thing.

But I'm still hanging on to that "whatever." God is in this, and his ways are not my ways.

Update

This is just a quick health update on me, for those who are wondering since my last post. I had worsening symptoms (for example, extreme fatigue after walking up a flight of stairs, or getting out of breath just from walking from one room to another), and so I went in to the cardiologist on Wednesday August 22. A new EKG revealed that I had something called 2nd degree heart block--although my atrium (top half of heart) was beating at 98, my ventricle (bottom half of heart) was only beating at 50. This had not shown up on previous EKGs--apparently it comes and goes, and also it was getting worse.

The solution for that is a pacemaker, and they wanted to get it in as soon as possible, since the condition seemed to be worsening. So two days later, on Friday August 24, I checked into the hospital and got a pacemaker! It was more complicated than for most people because I had had a chemo port previously, and it had left scarring on the veins they would normally use. So I've got a bit more bruising and tenderness than usual, and I'm taking more pain medication than usual, which is leaving me a bit more sleepy and lightheaded than I had expected to be at this point. But I should be back to normal before long.

Mostly I'm still amazed at God's goodness: it's wonderful that there are such things as pacemakers, that I could get one so quickly, and that I had such good doctors and nurses taking care of me, not to mention my loving family and friends.

Thanks to all who have prayed for me! I'd love to hear about ways that I could pray for you!

Whatever

Today I was on the floor again.

Syncopal episode is the term that the doctor uses for it. I just say "I fainted." It happened on Saturday evening when I was exercising, and it happened again today after I walked up some stairs at work and sat down at my desk. Today, once again, I found myself wondering why I had lost control of my thoughts, and then I realized that I was actually down on the floor, waking up.

After the first time, I had gone to see the doctor. That was yesterday, and she had ordered an EKG. When the EKG was done, the nurse looked at the results and said, "It's abnormal, but I don't know what it means." Then she left the room.

A year and a half ago, I was going through breast cancer treatment. Now with the nurse's announcement of an abnormal EKG, it looked like maybe I was going to have another health issue. So I decided it would be a good time to pray.

"Dear God," I started, and then paused, and then the thing that seemed right to me to say as I continued was: "whatever!" And what I meant by that was, "whatever the outcome of this is, whether I have heart problems, or something else, or nothing at all, it's in your hands, God, and I'm OK with that. I don't actually need to ask you for an outcome of any kind, because I trust you with anything. I'll just wait and see what happens and try to be your witness to the people I encounter in whatever the situation is." And although I only used the one word, "whatever", I think God knew what I meant.

The reason I was able to pray this prayer, instead of asking God to keep me from illness or harm, was because of the cancer I had just gone through. He had been with me in a strong and loving way throughout that time, and had shown me in many ways how much he cared for me (see http://takingthering.blogspot.com/2007/05/how-god-started-my-cancer-journey_15.html and http://takingthering.blogspot.com/2007/04/dogs-attitude.html). Because I knew this, I had suddenly realized, when I started to pray, that I had no fear of any new illness.

The doctor then came in and told me that the EKG looked identical to the one I had two years earlier, so it wasn't really abnormal after all. However, she wanted me to see a cardiologist. And I was actually in the process of making that appointment when I fainted again today. And Microsoft Security came, and the paramedics came, and off I eventually went to the ER!

Now I'm sitting in a hospital room, admitted for observation and tests, and I still feel the way I felt when I prayed yesterday: I am not afraid. A new illness might even be a new adventure in learning more about the depth of God's love. For what can separate us from the love of Christ? Certainly not illness. "For I am convinced that neither death, nor life, nor angels, nor heavenly rulers, nor things that are present, nor things to come, nor powers, nor height, nor depth, nor anything else in creation will be able to separate us from the love of God in Christ Jesus our Lord." (Romans 8:38-39).

No, I still say, "Dear God--whatever! I'm with you, and that's all that matters."

Seeing with God's Eyes

Last week my husband and I both underwent a routine medical screening test that involved our eating a restricted diet for 5 days. (We did it at the same time so as to minimize the meal-planning inconvenience.) We both found the restricted diet very annoying: we could still eat full meals, but we couldn't always have everything that we liked, and we had to postpone our regular Friday night pizza because we couldn't have some of the ingredients. Can you think of anything much worse than that? (Sarcasm intended.)

When we were done, during my nightly prayer time, I thanked God that it was over, even though I knew that was a pretty trivial thing to be thankful for. And then God spoke back to me and made me realize what I should REALLY be thankful for. When I say he spoke back, I don't mean I heard a voice or anything like that. But it was like our senior pastor Scott Dudley describes it: thoughts that are like our own thoughts but yet are not our thoughts. That's what came to me. And here's what God reminded me of.

Instead of thanking God that I didn't have to be on the annoying restricted diet any more, there were other things that I needed to thank him for, and for which I truly am grateful. First, I live in a country where there is such great medical care, that I have screening tests available to me so that I can prevent dangerous illnesses such as various types of cancer. If I lived, say, in the Congo, I might not be able to have a test like this and would run more risk of serious disease. Second, I have plenty of food to eat; I am not in danger of starving, as are so many of the world's poor people. Third, I have such a diverse selection of food at my disposal, that I can vary my diet if I need to restrict it, and when I'm done with the restricted diet, I can go back to eating food that I enjoy. Many people around the world have to eat whatever they can get. I get to choose what tastes good to me. And last, the screening test had a good result; I'm not at risk at this time.

It really put the whole thing in perspective for me. When I looked at it with God's eyes, I saw that what had been annoying to me was actually a blessing, and that there were other blessings that I had failed to notice. It showed me that praying is something I need to do more often, if only to ask God throughout the day to help me to see with his eyes. And when I see with his eyes, the result that I want going forward is that it will lead me to act in ways that accord with his will, including doing more to help those who do not have the food and medical care that I have.

How God Reminded Me He Would Be With Me

May 15 is an anniversary for me. On May 15 a year ago, I had my last treatment for breast cancer. Remembering this made me think that I would like to tell about how my cancer experience began.

In the summer of 2005 I happened to mention to my daughter that my inner elbows ached whenever I exercised or took my migraine prescription, and she urged me to tell my doctor. This led to an EKG, which looked pretty good, but still my doctor wanted me to see a cardiologist. Meanwhile, I was called back from my routine yearly mammogram because they had spotted something suspicious.

So, I went through two series of escalating tests: stress EKG and electron beam tomography; and second mammogram and ultrasound. Finally a weekend came in September 2005 where, on the Friday, I had a needle biopsy on the lump that had been found. Then, on the Monday, I was scheduled for an angiogram (cardiac catheterization) for my heart.

The cardiologist had told me that there was a slight risk of death associated with the angiogram. Normally I have no fear of death, ever since, at the age of 20, I first read The Last Battle in the Narnia series. What could be better than to go on to a place more beautiful than the most beautiful place on earth, and be with God? But the upcoming angiogram spooked me for some reason. Perhaps it was because our first grandchild was due to be born in November, and I didn't want to miss knowing her. At any rate, I was nervous. The night before, we went over to Seattle (we live in a suburb across Lake Washington). As we crossed the floating bridge, I remember looking at one of my favorite sights, the lights on the other floating bridge, strung across the lake like a mile-long strand of jewels, and thinking that I might never see them again.

The next morning the angiogram went smoothly, and the cardiologist found that my heart was perfectly healthy (so my arm aches are just a mystery). Afterwards as I was recovering from the sedatives they had given me, I discovered that the two nurses who were caring for me were Christians, and that each of them sang in their church choirs, just like I do. I thought that this was an amazing coincidence, because there are not many Christians in the Seattle area. It then hit me that God was telling me something. He was actually saying to me, "You were scared of this angiogram, but you had forgotten how in control I am. I am so in control that I can arrange, in an area and in a time when there are very few Christians, that not just one but both of your nurses will be choir-singing Christians."

Then I went home to recover further from the angiogram, and about two hours later, my doctor called to tell me that I had breast cancer.

Although at first I was a bit overwhelmed by the news, it was not long before I remembered the message God had given me that morning. The striking thing about it was God's timing. He had let me know that he cared about me and was in control BEFORE I got my cancer diagnosis. I still didn't know if everything would be fine or not; I still knew that I could die of this cancer. But I did know the most important thing of all, and that was that God was with me in the midst of it. That set the tone for how I experienced the whole following 8 months of cancer treatments.

As it turned out, the surgery that I had removed all the cancer I had at the time, and with chemo, radiation, and hormonal therapy, I have an 85-90% chance of being cancer-free in 10 years. So I have been blessed in the outcome. But even had it not been so, if I had only a slim chance of survival, I would still be able to go forward confidently, because God has assured me that he is with me and loves me. And I really didn't need a special message from God to tell me that. He has told us that throughout the Bible. He has told us that in the person of his son Jesus. I just hadn't remembered that very well before my angiogram. Since God was kind enough to give me a little extra help to keep it in mind, I want to share it with everyone else. There's nothing so bad or scary that God can't be with us in it and bring joy to us in the midst of fear and pain. That was certainly my experience with God in the midst of cancer.

A Dog's Attitude

Friday was a good day: I got the magenta tray at the cafeteria.

The cafeteria in our building at work has lots of gray and yellow trays, some brown ones, and a few blue ones, but there is only one magenta tray. Since pink is my favorite color, I always hope that I will get that tray, and when I do, I really enjoy it.

Maybe if you're reading this, you're thinking, "What's the big deal about what color your cafeteria tray is?" True, it's not a big deal. But I like to take pleasure in all sorts of little things. Savoring them makes my day more enjoyable.

The other day I once again came across a line in The Fellowship of the Ring that I really like. Gandalf the wizard has just told the hobbit Sam that he is going to accompany Frodo on his journey, which means that Sam will get to see Elves, something he's always longed to do.

"Me, sir!" cried Sam, springing up like a dog invited for a walk.

I love the image because it immediately conveys a great deal of excitement. Yet when we think about it, what are dogs so excited about? Just a walk! But they get a great deal of pleasure out of it.

My dog Hana waits every morning for me to sit down with my bowl of cereal, because she knows I will give her two pieces of it. It's only two pieces of cereal, usually Cheerios, so not a big deal, but to her it's a very happy moment.

Dogs are optimists, too. Every time I prepare a meal, Hana thinks, despite the mountain of previous experience, that this time, maybe the meal is going to be for her. And her tail is almost always ready to wag; she expects good things out of life.

I think that we can learn a lot from dogs' attitude. With God as our father, we can expect good things out of life, too. That's not to say that everything will always be rosy. But we can know that he is with us and will see us through any hard times. I found this out a year ago as I was going through cancer. God didn't make the cancer magically disappear, but he did sustain me as I underwent surgery, chemo, and radiation. I knew that in the long run, whatever the prognosis (mine ended up being good), God was going to be there in the end.

And then there were those little things, like the magenta cafeteria tray. God put a lot of them in my life, and when I looked for them, I found them. Things like the kindness of fellow co-workers, or a daffodil that the radiation oncology center gave me. It made a big difference to how I experienced a year of cancer treatments. I could have looked for the unpleasant, difficult things, or I could have just not looked for anything. But instead I looked for the little fun or nice things, and they were there to be found, and so my days were more pleasant and enjoyable than they might otherwise have been.

What's more, because I found those little good things, I was able to give thanks to God. I knew he was there helping me get through a bad time. In fact, I felt his presence more closely during that cancer year than I ever had before. That in itself brought joy to me beyond what I can describe.

I know it sounds silly to say I had a good day because I got the magenta tray at the cafeteria. But I have a fun life. And a lot of it is because I take pleasure in the little things.

The Atonement is Good News

I've been thinking about the Atonement lately. The doctrine of the Atonement has been coming under attack in recent years. It shouldn't be surprising, since by many who hold to progressive theology, personal sin has been denied or its extent or gravity has been lessened, and the second person of the Trinity (Jesus Christ, the son of God) has been devalued (his divinity is denied, his actual resurrection is denied, and/or obedience to him is no longer sought). So in such a climate, an act by Jesus Christ that takes away the consequences of personal sin is bound to become a target for elimination.

For example, a recent attack on the Atonement occurred not long before Easter, when Canon Jeffrey John of the Church of England was slated to speak about it on BBC Radio. In his view, the traditional doctrine of the Atonement, in which Jesus takes the punishment for the sins of humankind, so that, when we acknowledge that he has done so, and submit our lives to him, we can be forgiven and live eternally with God, "makes God sound like a psychopath". Instead, he suggests that Christ was crucified merely to share in our suffering.

If that's all Christ has to offer us on the cross, it doesn't give us much hope. If he just hung there and died so that God could say, "There, there, I understand how much it hurts," I don't think I'd be all that grateful. I'd rather have a God and a Savior who could really do something about the mess we're in, and fortunately, that's what we've got, because of the Atonement.

People who see God and Christ in this way--people who deny the Atonement--necessarily have a vision of God as a weak God. This is because they're saying that the Bible got it wrong all these years when it described Christ's death on the cross as paying for our sins. So that must mean that God was not powerful enough to make sure that the Bible got written correctly. Unfortunately for him, it ended up written wrong and was misunderstood for all these long centuries, and he just wasn't able to inspire the writers to get it put right. But now, at last, people have come along who really do know what is right--they know that the Atonement is not true! This implies that we are fortunate to be living in a time when there are really intelligent people who at last know the truth. In fact, God should be grateful to these people who can finally correct the Bible and do what he has been unable to do all these years.

Of course, I disagree with this point of view. So let me attempt to answer some of the arguments that have been made against the Atonement.

1. Argument 1: God wants to kill us because we wronged him. Why is it that God is supposed to be more merciful than we are, yet almost none of us wants to kill those who wrong us? Answer: God isn't out to kill us. This is stating the problem the wrong way. Here's the right way: God is out to keep us from dying eternally. The problem is that God is utterly, completely good, and evil cannot exist where he is. Once we have sinned, we are tainted with evil. Evil cannot live forever with God; it has to die, because it cannot be where God is. However, God loves us and wants us to be with him, and he is so merciful that he has worked out a way to make that happen, via the Atonement. God, as Jesus, takes the consequence--death--of sin, and we are counted as good if we accept what Jesus did for us.

2. Argument 2: God's killing his own son makes him the ultimate child abuser. Answer: This separates God and Jesus too much. God and Jesus are both separate and the same, as part of the mystery of the Trinity. Because God and Jesus are the same, God himself died for us when Jesus died. Moreover, Jesus did it freely, and not under compulsion. Jesus chose to die for us because he loves us and wants us to be with him forever.

3. Argument 3: Jesus' suffering isn't sufficient because it's not the worst suffering the world has ever seen; other people have suffered more. Answer: It's not the degree of suffering, it's who suffered. Jesus wasn't just a man, he was God. If God takes our punishment, it has been taken to an infinitely greater degree than if it were taken by a mortal. But also the degree of suffering must be greater than any suffering any other person has ever endured. At the moment when Jesus bore all the accumulated guilt and shame of our past, present, and future sins, he was separated from God's love, and that is suffering that is magnitudes beyond what anyone else has ever undergone.

4. Argument 4: It doesn't make sense that nobody is able to be perfectly good and that all people need salvation by God; why should all people be sinful and none be good? Or at least, aren't there some sins that don't need atoning for, that wouldn't keep a person out of heaven? Answer: God apparently didn't want perfect robots, preferring us to have free will. Thus we were left free to sin. But this is a mystery, and I assume that God's mind is bigger than mine, so I don't pretend to understand why we inevitably sin. But as for there being some sins that aren't so bad, and that shouldn't keep us out of heaven, I like what I heard our pastor Scott Dudley say once. He suggested thinking about what heaven would be like if people were let in with the sin that you think isn't too bad. Suppose you thought that irritability wasn't so bad and shouldn't keep you out of heaven. Would it still be heaven if irritable people were there? Maybe for some thick-skinned people it wouldn't be so bad, but for some others it might make it hell. Besides, all sin is a grave problem to God, who is perfectly good, and to whom we owe thanks for everything good in creation. When we commit even little sins, we repay God's goodness with evil, and by doing evil, we work against his good will for creation.

5. Argument 5: The Atonement requires a view of God as an angry, bloodthirsty God. Answer: Again, the Atonement is not something that God did because he's out for blood. It's true that sin makes God angry, but not in a bloodthirsty way. God is angry with sin because of the hurt that it causes people and his creation. Sin causes death, and God doesn't like death. So, to rob death of its victims, and give us a chance to be with him forever, God provided the Atonement. All we have to do is acknowledge what he did for us. He has made it very easy for us. Rather than being a bloodthirsty punisher, because of the Atonement, God is actually the most tender, merciful, loving God that can be imagined. (Of course, we want to respond to this love by obedience and service, but that's another part of the story.)

As I've said above, it is predictable that the Atonement should be targeted for disposal, since the doctrine of personal sin is also unpopular now among many people. This is a pity, because when we don't acknowledge our own sin, we miss out on being forgiven by God. And forgiveness is a beautiful and precious thing.

I thank God for the Atonement. Because of it, I will have life forever with God.

Trust

I have been dealing with some worry in recent months. My husband Jim works for a renewal group that has been fixated on by theologically liberal factions in the greater church as the root of all that they consider wrong in the mainline denominations today. They have built up a mythology about his group (IRD) that has taken firm hold among mainline denominational leaders, seminary faculty, the National Council of Churches, etc., and these people believe that Jim and his colleagues are actually not really Christian activists, but instead are ultra-right-wing political operatives bent on destroying the mainline denominations in order to silence their liberal social witness. These false ideas are spreading more and more widely. See www.talk2action.org for many examples.

This has worried me in many ways. I'm afraid that these untrue things will become widely believed and that it will become impossible to refute them. I'm afraid that my friends who are politically liberal will hear about it and will start looking at us askance. I'm afraid that if Jim ever wanted to leave IRD and do something else, such as return to pastoral ministry, he would be unhireable, because working for IRD would attach a stigma to him and everyone would be suspicious of him. And my worries go on.

Yesterday I was thinking about it more intensely due to a letter sent to all SMU faculty in which some other website had been falsely attributed to IRD. We had been to Maundy Thursday service, and I was getting to bed late. I usually read the Bible every night before bed, but last night I thought I might skip it, since I'd read Scripture during the Maundy Thursday service. But I kept getting this nudge feeling that I ought to read it anyway. So I decided that if God was telling me to read the Bible, I would. And here's what I found: I'm currently reading through the Psalms, and in the Psalm I had gotten to last night, the Psalmist was writing about people lying about him, and how God would eventually make sure that justice would be done about that, and that meanwhile God would bless those who had been lied about. Wow! How appropriate was that? I was very grateful to God for nudging me into reading that Psalm and showing me that he cared about our situation.

However, today I was still in worry mode. Tonight, though, during our Good Friday service, during the last of the seven meditations on the seven last words of Christ, our senior pastor was speaking about "Into your hands I commit my spirit." He talked about how Jesus was trusting God, and about how God could be trusted even when the situation felt the least like God was trustworthy. And I started remembering how trustworthy God has always shown himself in my life. He has seen me through breast cancer in a wonderful way, and has done many other good things for me all throughout my life.

I realized that I have been being very inconsistent. All my life, I have always trusted God that I would never lack for anything I really needed, and so I have never really worried about money or jobs. So why didn't I trust him in this situation? And when I started thinking of it that way, the burden lifted. I realized that I can trust him to be with us in this just as much as I have trusted him in any other situation. He's big enough for this problem, too. What a great feeling that was! It's still going to be hard to deal with all these slanders and lies that are being told about IRD. God isn't going to make it easier all of a sudden. There may be rough times in store for us. But I know that I can trust that he is in control, so that it will all come right in the end, and that means I don't have to worry.

Thanks be to God for his great mercy in showing us how he cares for us!

Fighting for the Truth as Taking the Ring

Another hard part of taking the ring involves fighting for the truth. While Frodo struggled towards Mordor with the ring, eventually going alone with just one companion, his other friends became involved in desperate struggles against evil. These battles were thrust upon the peoples of Middle-earth by the forces of Sauron (the Dark Lord) and his followers, who attacked free and peaceful peoples in order to subdue them to his will. Because Sauron's attention was drawn away from his own land while he conducted these battles, Frodo's friends who engaged in these battles were supporting his effort to take the ring.

Engaging in conflict is not pleasant. Yet sometimes it is necessary. Some conflicts are forced upon us, and we must defend the truth of the Gospel of Jesus Christ. That is why, as I write about taking the ring, I will sometimes be taking part in the struggle for the heart of the two mainline denominations to which I have belonged, the PC(USA) and the Episcopal Church.

Taking the Ring

In The Lord of the Rings, the hobbit Frodo has come into possession of a powerful magic ring. If this ring falls into the hands of the evil Dark Lord, all of Middle-earth will fall under his power. What is more, no one else can use the ring without falling themselves into evil, and the ring cannot be destroyed except in one way: it must be cast into the fire in which it was forged. Unfortunately, this fire is the fire of a volcano in the heart of Mordor, the Dark Lord's well-guarded land.

Frodo takes the ring to Rivendell, home of Elrond the Elf, where he listens as a council of wise and powerful representatives from many peoples and places of Middle-earth debate what to do about this ring. The council realizes that the only solution is for someone to secretly take the ring into Mordor and throw it into the volcano. But at that point the council is stymied. Who could do that? No one, it seems. At length Frodo speaks, almost in spite of himself.

"I will take the Ring," Frodo said, "though I do not know the way."

This is my favorite quotation in the entire three-volume story. I like to consider that taking the ring can stand for God's purpose in our lives. In that case, it is what every Christian is called to do. Frodo the hobbit is the smallest, least learned, least powerful person present at the council, yet he is the one who steps forward and volunteers, not even knowing how to accomplish the task.

And that should be our response to God. Sometimes we may feel he is asking us to do something too hard for us, or something we don't understand. But if God has asked it of us, he will give us the help we need. Indeed, Frodo received the help of eight companions who accompanied him as he set out for Mordor, including the wise and powerful Gandalf, and more help was given him on the way, but he did not know that he would have that help when he first spoke.

When the angel told Jesus's mother Mary that she would have a child before she was married, doubtless this seemed hard to her. But her response was not unlike Frodo's: "I am the Lord's servant," said Mary; "may it be as you have said." (Luke 1:38) I have often thought of that when God's will seems hard.

Now whenever I feel that telling people about God's amazing love is impossible in a climate where Christians are viewed as intolerant bigots, I also think of Frodo setting off on the road to Mordor to do a seemingly impossible job, and I say to God, "Nevertheless, I will take the Ring, God, though I do not know the way!"

On this blog, I hope to write about what I discover as God shows me the way to take the ring.