Tuesday, May 15, 2007

How God Reminded Me He Would Be With Me

May 15 is an anniversary for me. On May 15 a year ago, I had my last treatment for breast cancer. Remembering this made me think that I would like to tell about how my cancer experience began.

In the summer of 2005 I happened to mention to my daughter that my inner elbows ached whenever I exercised or took my migraine prescription, and she urged me to tell my doctor. This led to an EKG, which looked pretty good, but still my doctor wanted me to see a cardiologist. Meanwhile, I was called back from my routine yearly mammogram because they had spotted something suspicious.

So, I went through two series of escalating tests: stress EKG and electron beam tomography; and second mammogram and ultrasound. Finally a weekend came in September 2005 where, on the Friday, I had a needle biopsy on the lump that had been found. Then, on the Monday, I was scheduled for an angiogram (cardiac catheterization) for my heart.

The cardiologist had told me that there was a slight risk of death associated with the angiogram. Normally I have no fear of death, ever since, at the age of 20, I first read The Last Battle in the Narnia series. What could be better than to go on to a place more beautiful than the most beautiful place on earth, and be with God? But the upcoming angiogram spooked me for some reason. Perhaps it was because our first grandchild was due to be born in November, and I didn't want to miss knowing her. At any rate, I was nervous. The night before, we went over to Seattle (we live in a suburb across Lake Washington). As we crossed the floating bridge, I remember looking at one of my favorite sights, the lights on the other floating bridge, strung across the lake like a mile-long strand of jewels, and thinking that I might never see them again.

The next morning the angiogram went smoothly, and the cardiologist found that my heart was perfectly healthy (so my arm aches are just a mystery). Afterwards as I was recovering from the sedatives they had given me, I discovered that the two nurses who were caring for me were Christians, and that each of them sang in their church choirs, just like I do. I thought that this was an amazing coincidence, because there are not many Christians in the Seattle area. It then hit me that God was telling me something. He was actually saying to me, "You were scared of this angiogram, but you had forgotten how in control I am. I am so in control that I can arrange, in an area and in a time when there are very few Christians, that not just one but both of your nurses will be choir-singing Christians."

Then I went home to recover further from the angiogram, and about two hours later, my doctor called to tell me that I had breast cancer.

Although at first I was a bit overwhelmed by the news, it was not long before I remembered the message God had given me that morning. The striking thing about it was God's timing. He had let me know that he cared about me and was in control BEFORE I got my cancer diagnosis. I still didn't know if everything would be fine or not; I still knew that I could die of this cancer. But I did know the most important thing of all, and that was that God was with me in the midst of it. That set the tone for how I experienced the whole following 8 months of cancer treatments.

As it turned out, the surgery that I had removed all the cancer I had at the time, and with chemo, radiation, and hormonal therapy, I have an 85-90% chance of being cancer-free in 10 years. So I have been blessed in the outcome. But even had it not been so, if I had only a slim chance of survival, I would still be able to go forward confidently, because God has assured me that he is with me and loves me. And I really didn't need a special message from God to tell me that. He has told us that throughout the Bible. He has told us that in the person of his son Jesus. I just hadn't remembered that very well before my angiogram. Since God was kind enough to give me a little extra help to keep it in mind, I want to share it with everyone else. There's nothing so bad or scary that God can't be with us in it and bring joy to us in the midst of fear and pain. That was certainly my experience with God in the midst of cancer.

8 comments:

Anonymous said...

Hi Deb,
Great sharing/testimony/lesson!
Thanks.
I'm a colleague of Jim, who's followed your progress from afar - - my wife being a 7 1/2 yr. breast cancer survivor, and me being a poster boy for mammography rather tan a widower.
Loved how God intervened.
We had a couple of them.
On the morning we were to go in & bravely endure mascectomy, we couldn't help but wonder - - since lumpectomy was an option.
Then we turned to the new devotion that we had found, an update of Samuel Bagster's late 18th century compilation of scripptures called, "Daily Light."
After a few prelimiaries, it uplifted the call "to rid yourselves of the old/bad leaven."
Now that seemed to be prevenient grace with our exact date & time.
God is great - - & there, as you affirm.

Debbie said...

Wow, God's timing really is wonderful!

I only had a lumpectomy, and I so admire the courage of those women who have endured mastectomies! Tell your wife I admire her courage, and her 7 1/2 years of survival are an encouragement to me. Thanks for your witness!

Karl Shadley said...

Hi Deb,
Thanks for your very personal post on your blog. I feel like I'm getting to know you and that is a gift as Karson's dad. I found in Lewis' "Last Battle" a picture book of how God brings all things together in the last day. His wonderful story has always given me great hope.
Blessings on this important anniversary!
Karl

Debbie said...

Thank you, Karl! Lewis really has a way of touching our hearts. I'm looking forward to getting to know you and Myrna better!

Debbie

Dave Moody said...

Thanks Debbie,
I'm passing this on to several cancer overcomers in our congregation. And, yes- Lewis' "Last Battle" is a fantastic picture of consumation of all things. Thank you.

grace & peace to you and Jim,
dm

Stushie said...

God works in mysterious ways - His wonders to perform!

Thanks for sharing the hope in your story.

Anonymous said...

This is so moving to read. i am greatly encouraged and inspired by your eloquence. your belief in God and his presence to carry you through all things is a welcome reminder to us all. thank you for writing about your health and your faith. as a nurse and a christian myself, i find your comments to have special meaning and significance. while i cannot hope to express myself as clearly as you do, my sincerity and feeling are deep. thank you for reflecting your experiences to others. i wish for you many happy and healthy years ahead. i know whatever is ahead for you, you are ready. much love, marilyn skipper

Debbie said...

Marilyn, we've known each other a long time, and so your comment means a lot to me, and I thank you for it deeply!

Debbie