Yesterday I began a series of blog postings on things I've heard people say on the TV show "Cops." It may be an unusual source for theological reflection, but I guess that's the way my mind works. So here's the next posting.
Just this past Saturday night, the broadcast included a segment where the police had stopped a woman who did not give them her correct name. She said that the car she was driving belonged to someone else, and so did the purse in the back seat, and all the other things in the car. But funny thing, the picture of the woman on the driver's license in that purse looked just like her! Eventually she admitted that she was that person and that the name on the driver's license was actually her name. The cop asked her why she didn't give her real name to begin with, and she replied, "Because I hate police! They ruin your life."
Well, as it turned out, there were several warrants for her arrest, so no wonder she didn't want to give her name. And in addition to that, she had some meth in the car. Wow, those police sure do ruin your life!
What irony! In her view, she was just having a great time, doing the things she did that caused arrest warrants to be issued for her, and using meth. What fun! And then those cops came along and ruined her life by arresting her for all that fun she was having.
But it's not just those who have run-ins with the police who think this way. What this woman was doing was getting upset that there were consequences for her behavior. She thought she had a right to do whatever she wanted, and she hated the consequences, even though she knew that what she did was not allowed.
To some degree, we can all fall into this type of thinking. We know that there are things that God does not want us to do. For example, we know that God does not want us to speak unkindly to our spouses, but we do it anyway, because it feels good at the moment. And then after we've done it a lot, when we have problems in our marriage relationship, we get angry with God: we wonder why a loving God would allow us to have relationship troubles. Or for another example, we neglect our relationship with our children, thinking only of our own work, because that seems more interesting at the moment. And then when our children become rebellious and troublesome, we get angry with God: we wonder why a loving God would allow us to have parenting troubles.
These are simplistic examples--marriage and parenting problems have multiple causes--but the principle is true. Our actions have consequences, but sometimes we blame God rather than realizing that our own actions have led to these consequences. We can sometimes be just like the woman in the "Cops" episode who said, "I hate police! They ruin your life." We weren't the ones who messed up, oh, no: it was that mean old God who let these bad things happen to us.
How good it would be to remember that the consequences of our actions are just that: consequences of our actions, and not something mean that God has done to us. Then we can turn to God for his loving help in getting ourselves back on track. He is willing! He's the one who loved us enough to die for us.
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4 comments:
In my few months of chaplaincy so far, I've found a real challenge in helping people discern what are consequences of their actions, consequences of others' actions that somehow cause them to suffer, and what is simple bad luck, misfortune, and so on in which they had no hand. Its hard to parse these things out, I think, because we have to face three different troubling ralizations:
Our actions come back to haunt us, and we have a hand in our undoing
The actions of others can hurt us no matter what we do to try to stay safe
Sometimes terrible things happen, and there seems to be no reason at all.
Its a lot easier to just be mad at God. When someone asks "why is God doing this to me?" my response is often something that amounts to "what is the *this* you're talking about?"
You're right, Doug, that there are those other aspects to our problems. For example, when I had cancer, I didn't cause that to happen to me. (Although some illnesses can be caused by our poor choices, such as diet, smoking, etc.)
The unifying principle for all of our suffering is that we can always turn to God for help in getting through it. The amazing thing I found out when I had cancer is that he can make a terrible time into a joyful time. I certainly didn't expect that! He was more immediately present than I had ever known him to be before, and although I wouldn't choose to have cancer, I would never want to give up what I learned about him during that time, and the depth that my relationship with him went to.
It's letting go of trying to blame God, and asking him for help in getting through something, that is so liberating and so sustaining.
Yes don't dare blame the make believe sky wizard!!
Anonymous, I'm not sure you've actually thought through everything I wrote in this post. Situations can be complex. Not everything is our fault. But some people blame everything on God, instead of taking responsibility for the many things that actually are their fault.
Now, since you apparently don't believe in God, that definitely wouldn't be your problem. Congratulations! You must not blame anything on God! But I hope that doesn't mean that you blame everything on other people. I hope you do take responsibility for the things that are your own fault. Because no one is perfect, and I'm sure some things are your fault.
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